amanda -

boston is rainy today. i could smell it before i woke up, before i pulled up my curtain. every day the leaves outside my window turn one shade yellower and every day the temperature drops a degree.

yesterday i spent eight hours in the library. i was flipping through my planner on wednesday and realize just how much work i had to do. i took an adderall and felt like whatever haze i had been reading through temporarily lifted and i really enjoyed reading for a while. well, it was also judith halberstam.

i fell asleep at around eleven, with the help of two sleeping pills, but never really felt like i slept. i don't know if it was because of the weird dreams i sometimes have, because of the adderall, or because i went to bed so early, but i woke up at eight am and couldn't go back to sleep. i feel like i'm seven years old.

but maybe it's for the best, i have a lot to do today and this gives me more hours than i usually have.

but i really don't want to get out of bed.